UEFA Champions League Final 1999

For any Manchester United's fan, who can't remember this moment. I was at my usual slacking and nothing to do mode when i found this clip on Youtube. It really brought back memories, as i remember watching this game at home and was praying for a miracle until the last minute when Teddy Sheringham scored for Man Utd to equalise the game. That moment, i really do jump up and screamed so loud that i'm being scolded by my mum as it's 5am in the morning.

Welcome To The Black Parade (again)

I know i already had above title but now i want to elaborated what is the story behind probably my favourite song from My Chemical Romance. In fact their whole album is telling a story of a man called "The Patient".

The starting part of the story starts with the song called "Mama". This song is written before his dying hours where he was writing the final letter to his mother. The "letter" described that both their relationship is very sour compared to the one he had with his father. It seems that the causes for their negative relationship started with a war that all men including the patient, were drafted into. He also acknowledged that he could had been a better son which made his mother realised that the war had changed him. His mother only responds to him is that if he would express all his love to her, she could forgive. However the patient feels that if she knew what he did during the war, she would never consider loving him again.

The next part of the story which is continue from the song "Famous Last Words" narrated the patient thoughts at the last moment before he died. After previously experiencing countless emotions such as fear, anger, regrets and depressions, he finally had a hope by saying "I'm not afraid to keep on living." He finds that the stress in his relationship had caused him is no longer worth it and he can survived without his mother. However if she would stay, he will forgive her and himself for everything in that relationship. His final words are "Nothing you could say could stop me from going home" seems to indicate that at his last moment before his death, he had found enlightenment or peace and no longer afraid of being dead. Which led us to the climax of the story as describe in "Welcome To The Black Parade".

After learning of his illness, reflecting on his life, and dealing with all the issues of mortality, the Patient's own mortality is quickly coming to an end. Here the Patient is drifting between life and death, and so death is coming for him in the form of his strongest memory. The Patient's fondest memory is of his father taking him to town as a boy to see a parade.

The Patient's father asks him as a boy "Son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned?", perhaps preparing the Patient for his future illness, and asking him if he will have what it takes to mentally overcome it and be an example for others who follow in his footsteps to be strong. The Patient's father also tells him "someday I'll leave you a phantom, to lead you in the summer, to join the Black Parade." This hints that the Patient's father most likely died before the Patient, and will help him join the Black Parade (in other words be there when he dies to help him in the afterlife). The song also shows that the Patient most likely had a very good relationship with his father, since his fondest memory in life occured when he was with his father.

The Patient passes into a realm of life and death, and sees the Black Parade. The Black Parade seems to take place in the city that he saw the marching band in his youth, only now the city is barren, and more macabre ("the bodies in the street"). He sees the performers of the Black Parade, only they too are more macabre than those of the parade he saw in his youth, and seem to represent emotions and other parts of his life. The Black Parade tell him of "the disappointed faces of your peers", which have no effect on the Patient, as he states he "could not care at all", showing he will no longer let anyone dictate his actions, and hasn't quite repented yet (as he does in Famous Last Words). He still doubts himself ("I'm just a man, I'm not a hero" in reference to his father's question at the beginning of the song). He is still firm in his doubt of the world ("you can try, you'll never break me"). Finally The Black Parade insures him that his "memory will carry on", and though he may be dead and defeated his "weary widow marches on." Thus trying to encourage him that he isn't as evil as he thinks, and that if he joins them all that he leaves behind in life will be fine.

Death Note

Since i had been typing some "chim" blog recently, so i had decided to make this blog as "unchim" as possible. I'm downgrading my PSP as i'm typing this blog. Something is wrong with my psp as those games cannot start up so i had decided to upgrade and then downgrade so that it can have a clean firmware now.

I watched Death Note with Pamela today. Actually i don't intended to watch it that fast, i'm thinking of only watching it next week. Well to sum up, Death Note is quite an interesting show. I can't remember who introduced me this manga in the first place. Think should be Rickson or is it Tian shi? lol, i really can't remember it anyway. By the way, the plots centers around a young high school (or college in the movie) student, Light Yagami, who decides to rid the world of evil with the help of supernatural sources.

Light Yagami is a brilliant but bored student who resents crimes and corruptions in the world. His life undergoes a drastic change when he discovers a mysterious notebook, known as the "Death Note", lying on the ground. The Death Note's instructions claim that, if a human's name is written within it, that person shall die. Light is initially skeptical of the Death Note's genuinity, believing it is just a prank. However, after experimenting with it and killing two criminals, Light is forced to admit the Death Note is real. After meeting with the true owner of the Death Note, a shinigami named Ryuk, Light seeks to become the "God of new world" by passing his judgment on criminals.

Soon, the number of inexplicable deaths of reported criminals catches the attention of the International Police Organization and a mysterious detective known only as "L". L quickly learns that the serial killer, dubbed by the public as "Kira", is located in Japan. L also concludes that Kira can kill a person just by knowing their face and name. Light realises that L will be his greatest nemesis, and a race to prove mental superiority between the two begins.

Anyway, if i knew earlier i should not go at all. After we met up, we did not even say a single word at all. Just hi and bye type. I don't think that we behaves like friends at all. hahahaha

MCR - Welcome To The Black Parade

Bat Country

He who makes the beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

I tried to drive all through the night, the heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights. No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me. Can't you help me as I'm starting to burn, too many doses and i'm starting to get the attraction. My confidence is leaving me on my own, no one can save me and i know i don't want the attentions.

As I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights. My hand is on the trigger and i'm ready to ignite. Tomorrow might not make it but everything will definately be alright. Mental friction follows me; shows me what it's like to be free. I really want a friend to take a trip with me but it's not what it's seem to be.

Sometimes i really don't know why we rather lived than die, we looked up towards the sky hoping for an answer to our lives when in fact we already had the solutions but just pass it by. I don't want anyone absolution because i can't make it right. I'll make a beast out of myself so that i can get rids of the pain of being a man.

Actually, I have known from the start that these good ideas will tear my brain apart. I'm really that kind of person that is too weird to live but too rare to die.

Blinded In Chain

I think we are at it again, i just turned around a fucking war. I don't know where to begin, but i'll start with the radical leaders. Everyone will eventually starts following their steps because it's i sight where you take left and i'll take right. I can feel the hate that you've built up inside me.

But it wasn't a sin, a sorry life in judging every action. And as they're feeding your mind with this shit you forgot and how to speak how to ask all the questions. The business at hand tonight, make the people choose. But i see anoter side in myself but there's not much more i can do. From on the outside looking in myself is listening to push them off my mind and all my knowledge the circle will rebirth itself. If they had it their way, I'd burn in hell and my future's a fucking disaster. Can't anyone see? Give myself all the power and my future will be in a desperate trouble state.

Most would claim I live a lie pointing out it's easy to predict these things. Just like every colour has it's side, they live together to vote but most won't read in between the lines. Please God help me, please save me, of course you are the same like me that can't even control.

My family and friends, it won't matter in the end that i'm sure they will understand as they take a look at the world and see how the human bleeds. As I sit up here and wonder about how a person can sold his mind, body and soul. Looking at the fields so green and I know this sound obscene. I know that i'm living for tomorrow but the decisions i made today will leave me empty in the coming ages.

Communism good or bad?

Communism is perfect on paper. But not in practice, no matter how "perfect" the dictator is.

If we are talking about a perfect communism community, with the dictator having complete power, the doctor and the digger will not have the same education. Because they did not have a choice in what they will become. The government assigns everything: from who gets what job, to how much food will be used.

Another point why communism will not work is because, us human tends to be lazy. If person A and B gets the same wage no matter how much he/she works, why should both of them work any harder? No incentive in daily work will not benefit the society. Worse, eventually person A or B will discover that they will get away doing barely any work, say 1 hour in their 8 hours day, and still get the same amount of food like everyone else. That is when the real problem comes up.

I think the reason why communism didn't take off is because no body wants to be equal they want to have a higher standard of living than every one else which is why the competitive nature of capitalism took supremacy of the world's majority. I remember during history class, i was kept wondering why communism never succeeded despite having great ideologies compared to those of democracy aside from bad leaders and dictators and all ,I mean it seems like a good idea but I think its that the world didn't want equally. If you think about it there was always some kind of monarchy at some point in the world's history, someone was always better than someone else. The ideals posed by communism were radically different from any form of living that the world had ever known and change isn't easily accepted and communism was rejected as the world's standard of living and continued to embrace hierarchy which has now changed from monarchy to capitalism, everyone can become their own king or queen after striving hard enough. But knigs and queens aren't completely gone though; presidents, prime ministers, governers, all the same thing they just don't inherit the title by blood anymore.

The world is always progressing and major turning points tend bring about revolutions just like the recent one in Thailand, wars and the like. We are all apart of it doing something, whether it is getting involved in its movements or just sitting back and do nothing but watch the shit hit the fan. Me? I'm just watching this stuff much safer than touching it, I think the world is going in one direction and ain't nothing gonna stop it, you just have to wonder why things didn't go the other way?

The reason why am i saying this is because just a simple nuclear weapon test by Stalinist North Korea could trigger such a big response worldwide.

Thank God I Found You

This is probably the last time in a few months before i can blog another entry here using my laptop.

Firstly, i would really liked to thank god that i found and get to know of someone. Actually to be frank, i don't really believed in Destiny. But i do feel like Destiny is a pre-determined fix-timelined of event that is unchangeable and inevitable. Maybe it's destined that i will get to know her but why am i still want to thank god for this that is already determined? Well, i really do not know the reason why am i doing so. I think i had too much negative things in my life which led me in such state and i always wanted to go back to wherever the first mistakes taken place and correct it but then, if i do so, i might never know how my world is now. Just like if someone managed to go back in time to prevent September 11 attacks or even World War 2 by eliminating both Stalin and Hitler, then i'm afraid that the world might still be sulking over colonisation and a different "World War 2" instead. What really we can do now is looking forward and improve as a person. I am also afraid that i might not know her if i really do had the ability to do so.