I really do think that my sleeping hours had been messed up. I couldn't sleep the whole night too. I think most probably is the 6hours slept i had on monday. Well, yesterday i did not sleep at all before heading out to class. In class, when i'm always the teacher nightmare. Terrorising teacher etc :P

On my way home, i had a phonecall from Vanessa. She wanted to meet me so that she can get those X-Japan songs from me. Well, i went home. Have a shower and changed into a new set of clothes before heading out again. Meet her at the old Long John Silver restaurant at CenturySquare. I brought my laptop out with me as i'm doing the storyboard for my new Flash project. I not too sure whether this is a good or bad news but Wong Hong Fei is no longer teaching my class Flash. The new teacher, LOL... his name is fucking weird for a guy. His name is Quan Quan. At first i thought i saw "Qian Qian" when he projected his name on the powerpoint slide via class projector. Very easy to bully LOL.

Ok i meet Vanessa and talk cock awhile. Then i walk her to the bus stop to take bus 17. On my way home, without taking the shower again i just close my room door and sleep almost immediately for about 5-6hours till almost 9pm. After that online to check on stuff such as emails etc. I tried to sleep just now but couldn't, feeling very restless or hyper. I guessed that next time if i go out to work, i thinked i would want to find a job that requires night shift. I'm very sleepy during the day but hyperactive at night. I wondered what's the reason.

To Lina: Sorry for not uploading those songs yet. Check back later, it would have been uploaded

School starts in a few hours time and i'm still awake. I can't really sleep. I don't quite feel like going actually and i believed that i will be having alot of coffee sweets or even a can of red bull later on.

Ryan Cabrera - True

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

Currently practising the song that i been playing on this blog to play and sing to that someone. :D

I just realised that my laptop have a build-in microphone. I was playing with it the whole time just now from 10:30pm onwards and managed to record 4 songs and will post it up at the later time. Sorry for the bad singing. Anyway, Vanessa and Jakob senior had heard it.... HAHA

Today actually planned to go to have my hair cut but in the end, i slept all the way till 4pm. Anyway, during my sleep.... i think i had developed sleep paralysis. I couldn't lifted my arms or even sit right up. I tried to open my eyes, yet it don't opened. Usually, people may thinks that this had something to do with the supernatural but i believed this is the causes. I not too sure whether is it i'm dreaming or not as i felt some falling sensation during this experiences.

Thursday had been a very tired day for me. I think i slept most of the 24hours. Anyway, i just changed my song to Never End by Silver Ash. I'm actually not a fan of them but i felt that this song is quite good.

Anyway, Wei Lian is in... He will fight with Kelly at Project Superstar final. Nobody thinks he will go in but is his determination that brought him into the last stage. Fuck those critics that he got alot of sympathy votes. He have someone that appreciate him and that's me. I believed that alot of people thinks the same also.

What a day for me. I feel like giving up on my flash project as i'm really frustrated over doing it. I did not sleep the last night because of this flash project and i forced myself to go to school today with drinking quite alot of coffee. PCA practical exam as expected, very easy which i think i can scored well. After that reach home at about 12noon and sleep all the way till 7:45pm.

Anyway, i will blog again as i want to continue doing flash now....

Another boring day for him. I'm not required to go back to school on monday as my test is only later at 8:30am. Anyway, i just patched up my Winning Eleven 9 PS2 game. Will played awhile later before going to sleep at 3am and waking up by 5:30am

My com just crashed... hell i just lost a number of data. Luckily, i had a secondary partition to store my mp3s, anime etc. Anyway, i'm on laptop now and re-installing windows xp on my PC. Well, tuesday is my PCA practical exams but i think i can score as i had done it before. It's basically DIY your own PC which i think i had done it twice. I think it would be easy for me though.

Well self-reflection on my past weeks. Since this week is a national day week so it would be kind of short weeks to me. I can take it as a consolation holiday week. Also, someone gave me 2 Tony Tony Chopper soft toys. I guessed most of you able to think what's her intentions. You people can call me a heartbreaker as i'm returning her on monday or tuesday.

Anyway, i somehow had a bad headache today. Going to take the panadol afterwards... Will blog if i have the time soon =D

"Sorrows is what i hated, but it outgrown my sensation
Regrets taught me how, to make any hard decision
Peace is always in my mind, but i never felt it once
Love is not a word, only for a sweet romance"

Typing this on my laptop as i just managed to reformat it since it goes really slow as i found out the other day at the mac. HAHA, maybe going out later well i not very sure of it yet as of now. I think i have afew things to do as of now such as completing my flash project that is due this thursday etc.....

It all happens that day.....

One morning came and it was decided,
At day break my fate wasn't mine,
That dawn with tears inside,
Burning my heart and ripping at my soul,
Because my fear was strong,
Yet I hardly knew the difference,
I only went along with what I was told,
I hardly knew the difference.

Now with sweet eyes that stare lovingly,
I can hardly breath with this sharp pain on the inside,
Like eyes deep and dark as my wife's,
The hardest pain my heart can endure,
No regrets consume me like a passionately burning flame,
Eating the wick,
Burning it to the wax,
My soul is shriveling up.

While her smile gives me hope,
I die as well,
I cannot express these emotions so deep inside,
Her shadow is like that bloody angel on Hell's day,
With fiery gates opened wide when my sword went through her frail body,
In the soundless darkness that enveloped me there,
In the shadow of our home,
It's what I fear that keeps me here without the slightest motivation,
To tell Kaoru what I feel.

She stirrs in her sheets,
Softly breathing,
The sound reminds me of how I've been alone until now,
How my soul has been numb until now,
Since my wife's blood ran down my flesh,
My arm,
And I realized,
With that paralyzing stab of recognition,
That I'd killed the only life that meant anything to me.

My hands held a blade that did the same it did to her,
To thousands,
And adding a sweet soul,
With such purity,
Would be killing them all,
A hundred times over,
And so I stand,
Here in my thoughts and I remember the day it was decided,
The day I left it all behind,
As I watch her skeeo and look as innocent as a child.

That day I made sure I could never love anyone,
That I could never say a word of it,
That deep inside this hollow shell,
Underneath the sweet rurouni smile,
Of torment and sorrow,
Is a sweet love threatening to weaken my understanding,
That could make my lips utter,
Those few words that would seal the fate of all I hold dear,
And could make them do more,
As I held her close,
But I cover it up,
With overlapping numbness and false smiles,
Just to rid of the pain,
And the love inside that.

Wow.... it's been sometimes since i last blogged. I blogging this in Mac nearby my school through my laptop. Today had been a very slow moving day since this is the first time i returned to school in 1 week. I was on mc last thursday and friday while monday to wednesday had been national day holiday. Today is kind of slow movie day, but then i just re-established contact with Katherine. Looking forward to meeting her on 17 September at her chalet.