Been stabbed in the back by a person i wanted to trust. They are all the same. When you are good, people will crowded to you like the honey to bee. When you are down, they will one by one leave you. I finally realised the nature of human nature. The world is not what i think it is. This human world is very selfish. It's powered by the 7 evils of mankind - calamity, sorrow, pain, horror, blindness, coldness and misery. Certain religious people may ask me to believe in their god and have faith in them. To be frank, i lost faith in all the religious beings. I felt that they are more like actual "guidelines". I believe i can fight my fate and destiny. Fight the heaven book and whatever stuff that is mentioned. Without praying to the half naked man, invisible being, elephant head guy or the colourful figures. I'm not disrespecting anyone but this is my point of view and got to respect it.

Hope this IA class quickly finish. Still got another (hopefully) 45 minutes left to go and i'm half dead from my self-imposed emotional pressure as i do not had much sleep last night. I think i did not sleep at all.... However i'm not that tired... Just dead....

Been hearing people saying "Friends are for life", "Friends are there to make your life better." I guess it's ok to trust "friend" but is it ok to trust a friend there is acting all the while and always wore a mask in front of you but actually looking for backstab you any moment once chances arise? This is a question that been asking myself since i known this "conspiracy" and the causes of it, a girl. It felt really dumb to have strained our 7years friendship. Even if this thing clears up, i guess it will never be a same again. I know you people will think, it's really immature or childish to have be doing this which i felt that very is the words to use in front of the 2 words as mentioned. But this had been the fact that he is doing this now. Maybe i'm too overly sensitive. On saturday, my msn had been "-=Jason=- { 3 days already } Something i wasn't sure of.... But i was in the middle of".... He msg me asking "wassup 3days and yr nick behind?".... i just pass it of with some simple excuses which it had some special meaning behind. What makes me angry the most is that, he just close the conversation after i told him that. I had a plugin to show who had close my conversation on my msn messenger.

This makes me had 1 conclusion, No friends should treat a friend like this. If he likes the girl, he should have told me instead of keeping it a secret. He had been hiding it all these while only being "exposed" after he told someone that been quite close to me recently that he likes her too. WTF.... after he admit, he had been putting on "love nick" as his msn nick as i guess he knows that if i will know it somehow. I think his "like her alittle bit" would means alot. So much that he will go on betraying the friendship and trust which took 7 years to build. So my conclusion is " There is alot of friends in this world, but he is not one of them." That's the bottomline. I guess if he continues to wear the mask, so i think i will wear my mask as well.

I just did the boldest thing in my life yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!

Addicted to Slip Up (Little More Than Before) by Beck Mongorian Chop Squad

4 January 1999 - I met her in the fateful 2nd floor classroom of Loyang Secondary School....
January 1999 ~ May 1999 - Take the usual bus service 21 to school with her....
Year 2000 - Want to be more than just friend but she don't seem to realise it
Year 2001 ~ 2002 - In the midst of "Silent War" with her.....
Year 2003 - Lost contact with her as we went different routes and starts different journey through life
May 2004 - Re-established contact through MSN Messenger
8 March 2005 - Watched Hitch with her......
13 March 2005 - Went out with her and a group of friends with dinner at Billy Bombers, Bugis
16 March 2005 - Movie, In Good Company with her. Dinner cum Supper at Tampines Blk 802

Just came back from probably my greatest day of all!!!!! Currently repeating Slip Up (Little More Than Before) by a non-existance, anime band called Mongorian Chop Squad. Great music probably going to post a sample of the song here!!! Tomorrow going to study DE as i really needed to do well already. Since i failed my earlier test and i would tried to get a full marks for it!!!

Current Song on Itunes - (Slip Up) Little More Than Before by Beck Mongolian Chop Squad

(Slip Up) Little More Than Before by Beck
"I don't know since when i changed to such a cold-hearted guy
I have to warm this frozen icy lonely heart to thaw
I being wrapped with warmness more than anything else for sure
I 'm gonna make my coming days filled with laughter and joy

I let myself down that i'm more cruel than i thought i would be
I'm just a loser who ends up by caring for my soul
I don't give my heart to no one cause i don't wanna waste my time
I tried to love this loneliness slip out of this lonesome hole

Sorrow is what i hate but it's grown my sensations
Regrets taught me how to make any hard decisions
Peace is always by my side but i've never felt it once
Love is not a word only for sweet romance

Well i'm scared, scared, scared, scared to death
And i'm scared to keep on going on my way
Well i'm scared, scared, scared to death
And i'll tell myself i'm special till the end

Recalling my torn broken, aching heart of these long days
And all the memories, i wanted to forget for making leaps
Recalling, breaking, aching, crying, making sure to me
And i take all and grin at my future on the way"

4 January 1999 - I met her in the fateful 2nd floor classroom of Loyang Secondary School....
January 1999 ~ May 1999 - Take the usual bus service 21 to school with her....
Year 2000 - Want to be more than just friend but she don't seem to realise it
Year 2001 ~ 2002 - In the midst of "Silent War" with her.....
Year 2003 - Lost contact with her as we went different routes and starts different journey through life
May 2004 - Re-established contact through MSN Messenger
8 March 2005 - Watched Hitch with her......
13 March 2005 - Went out with her and a group of friends with dinner at Billy Bombers, Bugis

豆浆油条 - 林俊杰

喝纯白的豆浆是纯白的浪漫
望着你可爱脸庞和你纯真的模样
我傻傻对你笑是你忧愁解药
你说我就像油条很简单却很美好
我知道你和我就像是豆浆油条
要一起吃下去味道才会是最好
你需要我的傻笑我需要你的拥抱
爱情就需要这样它才不会单调
我知道有时候也需要吵吵闹闹
但始终也知道只有你对我最好
豆浆离不开油条让我爱你爱到老
爱情就需要这样它才幸福美好
我知道都知道你知道你都知道
好不好别偷笑让我知道
好不好别偷笑让我知道就好

我喝完热豆浆眷恋着还想要
你吃完金黄油条爱情又要再发酵

Today makes me look like some idiot. Since today is the school graduation day for last year Dec batch.... I went to school and came back as i do not know about there is no class today. Only learnt about this when i called Hairol..... And also, i tried to act hero today and end up being the zero instead. This really shown that eventhough i joined St John Ambulance Brigade before but do not had that time of courage to do so should i met any thing that had to walk in between Life and Death!!! I wanted THAT hairstyle badly now!!!

Tuesday is probably the happiest day in my life. Eventhough the day starts pretty slow for me but it ends with a bang. As i sit beside her when i watched the movie, Hitch. Pretty funny and emotional show. I think i had learnt a thing or two about dating a girl from Will Smith. She is really a very pleasant girl and probably wants to continue it with her..... Met Novan and even wave at her when she was working at Pizza Hut. What a day, looking forward to the next time going out with her again!!!!!!!!!

Tiger Lily
by Matchbook Romance

"we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.

and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go...
i'll never let go.

as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawal of you for this one night we have spent."

and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and i... i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.
and i... i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.

why does tonite, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.

if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

and i... i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things any worse.
and i... i don't want to speak these words.
cause i, i don't want to make things
and i...i dont wanna make things any worse"

Followup treatment to my NS hearing problem got it cleared. Was listed PES A for hearing part but however, i'm still in PES D for a followup treatment to my heart problem at Alexandra Hospital. Still quite excited and anxious about my listing result. I applied for 2 choices which is Dip in Multimedia and Infocomm Technology at NYP and Dip in Business Computing at RP. I had just a small hope of getting it though but will be more than happy to stay at MacPherson as it is a great school. After school, tomorrow i maybe going to get myself a new hair-cut. Wonder which salon is good as i'm hoping to cut a similar hairstyle to Dan Tou of Nan Quan Ma Ma. But i think probably will hold on to it until later times. Who knows......

Follow Me

Follow Me Baby,
I Won’t Let You Leave If You Believe In Me
And I Always Set You Free From All Those Yesteryears
But You Don't Know How Much I Got Believe In You

I Was Staring At Your Shoulder Shivering
In Such A Coldest Summer Breeze
Meanwhile I Wonder Why We're Here
Look For The Line Between Love And Friends
We'll Be Twisting Ourselves Again

I Was Standing At The Corner On The Street
Watching The Wheels Are Turning Free
Waiting To Back Up On My Feet
Reading A Line Between Night And Day
I'll Be Twisting Myself Again

Well my earlier post is my current desktop layout.... looking nice?? Still hoping for that particular thing to happen that will bring light to my dark tunnel!!!

It heated up, my silver metallic heart
I'll light the fuse
I feel so high it's strange
Let's kick some dust

A reckless beat blends in with the shrieks
Before my eyes is a rain that seems like missiles

My adrenaline's always flowin'
so it feels like it's me that's gonna overheat
Even if I explode and turn into ashes
I'll probably still be laughing, just like this

Blowing past the town, until the ends of the earth
Let's burn rubber and die together like lovers
C'mon, give me your hand!

Let's cut loose until we reach our limit
So we can reach the horizon
Woh! Clash! Into the rolling morning
Flash! I'm in the coolest driver's high
Towards the best finale! Yeah!

Soon enough
A pitch black morning will come when we'll just wink out
Once you change into your favorite clothes,
we'll be off!

Let's raise our voices absurdly high
and break through the atmosphere
Woh! Clash! Into the rolling morning
Flash! I'm in the coolest driver's high
With steel wings

Let's keep racin' through, until time runs out
'cause we're natural-born speed demons.
Woh! Clash! Into the rolling morning
Flash! I'm in the coolest driver's high

See ya again in the next world, Yeah!

~Jason, 03/03/2005

Been a few great and exciting day for me. I will not say want events was it but i only say it's been great!!! No words can described my feelings now